This feels like one of the most pointless movies I have watched in a while. The slow overpowering synthesizer ruined the silent movie vibe for me, and the main character only communicating through moan-adjacent noises made me deeply uncomfortable. The best parts were the beginning and the end. Everything else was truly just a blur. Highlight: stabbing the same man to death twice in different places and times.

A sad priest gets a magic amulet from a dying girl granting him the ability to transform his physical being into that of a Velociraptor. He wishes to use this power for good, but a group of ninjas kidnap him in an attempt to turn him into a superweapon to forcefully convert people to christianity, or something. No, I did not quite follow along.

This movie is an indie horror disasterpiece. I loved it so much, and yet it was positively horrible. I feel like the cocaine in the movie was not just a prop, and rather, they themselves snorted it all during every stage of production of this movie. There is no way in hell a sober person comes up with this, and actually has the will power and mental fortitude to go through with producing this without breaking mentally. It is just not possible. The baby bear cubs snorting a deadly amount of cocaine was my favorite scene, it just was so adorably heart melting, and I loved it.

This movie is so fucking interesting. I have no clue what i just watched, but it was good. I loved every minute of it, but, at the same time, I felt deeply uncomfortable and hated this film. It feels like looking deep into my own brain, the confusion and non-chronological order of things.

Finally got around to rewatching and reviewing this piece. It is a great comedic masterpiece which does not feel the need to take itself all too serious, which honestly is a great spin in this genre. There are several scenes where you just chuckle a bit at the absurdity. Overall I recon this is a good watch.

Good movie. I love the cat content. I love the actions of the cat. I am with the cat, the cat was just. Those who hates cats deserve punishments. Those who do not heed the warnings about the cats deserve punishments.
Overall though, I thoroughly enjoyed this film, and would recommend it to people. It is low budget, but it us awesome.

Slightly better vaguely christmas themed slasher movie. The killings felt more motivated. They felt more just and thus I enjoyed this movie more. The sequel of this movie is definitely better than the original. No clue if it would be good standalone, though. Honestly not as bad as I expected.

Vaguely christmas themed slasher movie. The killings were based on a christmas rhyme, in a very interpretive way. Not worth your time. Just a bad slasher with subpar acting, but not bad enough to be good.

This one ended up being moreso a summary rather than a review, but it was kind of dogshit. Here goes nothing.

The generic space scroll intro is really setting a low quality, low budget, non serious mood, and I am all here for it. The actual movie intro immediately feels low budget. It feels like a homemade production, just in a basement with a greenscreen. Oh shit, there is a third intro section. This movie Wilding. This one features red text and old Disney animations. Hell to the yes.

I already do not like this first kid. He is annoying as hell. Rest in peace to these minimum wage workers. Working three extra hours, at least they get paid double. Eight whole kids, though. That is so many. I already forgot it was a flashback. Why did they have to throw us back into the current time. I was enjoying the mediocrity. LOL, it just went from mediocre to bad with that spark. Cheap modern CGI, my behated.

One of the main character girls is a basic bitch mean girl type of girl. The last minute late night party is actually a surprise birthday party at her job. Woop woop. The nerdy guy appears to be getting set up as a potential love interest.

Why the hell does the birthday cake have massive tits?? This is such a silly movie. The investigation is not going very smoothly. The gorh girl is being forced to explain people's interpersonal problems with eachother. Explain who hates who and who likes who. Who would be most likely to kill someone else. And now someone is going to get screwed.

Metacommentary on the movie, the screwing guy is probably going to die, according to the nerdy love interest. Anyhow, the story is continuing and I HOPE TO FUCKING GOD I WON'T HAVE TO WATCH AMARUER BORDERLINE PORN MMSEX SCENES. THIS IS GOING TO FUCKING KILL ME. I hope they just peacefully get killed.

The killings did not just stay limited to the place itself, rather, also people outside it died. Those people were revealed to be bullies on their way to toughen someone up. Goth chick might be a lesbian. And the sex got interrupted by low quality screams and a cut in video. Goth chick is a lesbian.

Ryan is getting absolutely wasted. Oh God, no, he is getting upset. And now he is confessing his love to Alex. Ryan looks like such a fuckboy and Alex just pulled the I might be gay card on Ryan. The store has been locked by some outside force. This made me think og the meme: "this is a masterlock, it can be opened with another masterlock" which is much funnier than what is actually going on.

People are being absolute alcoholics. Ugh, nerdy guy is being set up too much as a love interest, I wanna beat him up. Oh. My. God. There is more metacommentary. And metacommentary on that. And fourth wall breaks. Woop woop. The unsteady camera work is quite bad, to be honest. Blood stained knife reveal, and teleporr hacks. The mouse hates the same thing I do, though, rapidly flashing lights. Which is honestly and truly so real.

More bloody knife teasing. The mouse is using reach hacks too now. They better get a new anti cheat. Stupid idiots. Okay, so playing with a VR headset does not block out the sound of people screaming while they are dying. The nerd is being set up EVEN MORE AS A LOVE INTEREST. Beating both of them, actually. Sticks and stones are going to break their bones. Yes, they will. Yes, they will.

Alex is going out alone because someone is going on a murderous rampage. This is not stereotypical and a nowadays mocked behavior of main characters. This movie is not that bad its good, it is just so bad it is bad. Not particularly a good movie. Would not much recommend it. They want to beat the mouse because he has autism? What the hell. I would beat him for playing with a hacked client, fucking bitch ruining everyone else's fun. Should get banned from the server if you catch my drift. Now the mouse is beating them all, and apparently, they all died with one hit of a hockey stick.

The vapey boy is about to get die. Hell yeah, I did not like him. Driving loops on a rollercoaster while being "way too high for this" his words, not mine. Now there are corpsee at the fire exit. Whimpering stoned rollercoaster boy is still whimpering while stoned and on a rollercoaster. And now he is about to die. Hell to the yeah. Adorbz. The nerd is the horror movie liker. And does not want to split up, and the blonde bitch is not.

Oh shit, vr girl is still alive, obviously not actually playing vr while this is being recorded. LOL. Probably did not have the budget for that. I do wonder what the budget was for this film. I will look it up after. The vr girl is such a silly goober. Such a goofball.

Why are the investigators such douchebags. They are just mean for the sake of being mean. Such cunts. Anyway, the mickey mouse masks were revealed to be original 1921 masks. What in the fuck balls.

Anyway, the alarms are going over. And they are calling for survivors to get together on the roof. LOL vr girl just got killed while being oblivious. Love that. Fuckboy man got himself killed for a chance of that sweet goth pussy, or something.

The mice are officially revealed as having hacks. It is just the three of them and the goth out getting stared at by mouse. Uh oh, original basic bitch girl is making a return, #deadgirlcore. God this movie is ass, what in the fuck are the mouse noises.

Uh oh, Ryan is not the mouse, and he does not believe them trying to explain the situation they are in. The mouse is finally there. I think Ryan is about to get killed. The mouse does not hate flashing lights anymore. I think he is learning. He is still weak to baseball bats, though. Now they are attempting mouse bdsm, what the fuck is this movie. I keep thinking and saying that, but it is true. Oohhh, the flashing light just prevents his teleportation. "It's a game of cat and mouse, and the only way to win is to kill the fucking mouse" I wish this movie was British, that would have been funnier. The cops are being mean, but only because the bad cop sucks and bad copping. The mouse has been trapped and contained. Now, the survivors believe they have won. But all is not as it seems. The cops are roasting goth for not caring, anyway, spontaneous beheading of Alex. And the nerd mourns his not being able to ask her out. And that is the end. The aftercredits show goth being lonely in her cell before the mouse finds her and frees her. Sequel confirmed.

Okay, so when bad horror movies do sequels, they are usually awful and lack all the charm of the first one. This movie, however, appears to be an exception to this. The sequel blew the first movie out of the water and became significantly better. I just love the increased budget, and how you can see it in the costuming. I also love how it is starting to become more story driven. I am genuinely hyped for Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey 3, which is releasing next year.

I did not have high expectations going into this movie. And turns out, it most definitely delivered. You have a guy with a Winnie the Pooh mask constantly drooling, and a violent little piggie who wants to torture and kill. This movie sucked ass in the best way possible. Its awfulness made it a decent watch. I recommend it to the bad movie enjoyers out there!

Okay. Okay. This movie was... interesting. It was quite something. An experience I need not have again. The story is a mess but the casting is genious. Two Dumbledores, which means like, twice the amount of homosexuality that can be revealed in tweets years after the story concluded. This was a masterpiece of mediocre writing, awesomely awful acting and the best casting imaginable. This movie was as good as I could have imagine, and as bad as it could have possibly been. I loved it but it was terrible, it is some weird mix of both extremes leaving me feeling nothing but confused about how to feel about this movie.

This most definitely was an interesting movie. I think it was quite good, I liked the story an awful lot, and enjoyed the character dynamic and growth. My only dislike for this movie is the ending. I do not understand why in god's name he went back to the mental ward. I mean, I understand why, but at the same time I can not understand why. In his situation I would not have done that.
One aspect I especially enjoyed in the movie were the references and discussions of art. The discussion about the true meaning of Vincent van Gogh's Wheat field and the fact that Chad, one of the main characters, cut himself while reading The Myth of Sisyphus (1942), an absurdist essay.
An interaction which stood out to me was one between Chad and Dr. David Monroe about medication because it was somehow relatable. This interaction also foreshadowed him not taking his medication and slitting the throat of one of the caretakers. Here is the quote:
"tegretol or depakote?
same program, tegretol.
Just gimme pills right? that and that will just take care of everything and just solve all my problems and all the problems of the world give everybody pills we can all fucking be the exact same person
this is a treatable disorder, okay? but not if you don't want it to be.
come on
it's not up to debate, you're taking your meds. that's it.
chuckle alright nods extremely
cuts to a clip of him being drugged out of his mind on his birthday, unable to even blow out candles or speak properly"
Overall this movie was quite awesome, although it was detrimental for my mental health/stability.