Very headache inducing film. Can not recommend this very much, not in good conscience.

Well, I found the directors cut of this movie on blu ray in a thrift shop and just had to pick it up. I did not know a thing about this rendition of Beowulf going into it. I expected some really low quality CGI intensive live action movie, but I got so so much more than that. This is a hidden gem when it comes to animation. It looks so good half of the time (though this ends up serving to make the other half look god awful). Over all, this movie was enjoyable to me.

Aliens, sex, ball taps, murder, infidelity, Joe Biden as president almost two decades before it actually happened, crop circles, the well, and misogyny. What do all of these things have in common? They are all part of what makes Scary Movie 3 such a scary movie. Honestly not a terrible movie though. Scared of the next two parts of this movie series.

Loved the vibes of this movie to death and back. Absolutely adored them, despite all the horrible misogyny and such. I feel like that is a massive part of the charm in this movie because it makes fun of how prevalent it is in other horror movies of its time. Anyhow, Jim fucking Curry is in this so step aside bitches, I gotta get to my mans.

I watched a shitty recording of this musical today. It is my favorite shitty recording of this musical. I have watched it a dozen times before, yet it still hurts every time I do. I simply love this musical so much, even though I cried to multiple parts of it. Diana Goodman is one of few characters whom I feel properly represented by, which makes this piece quite special to me. Love this piece, wish they would make a proper movie of it too someday.

Wholesome movie about a kid getting hunted down by a known and crazed mass murderer whom will stop at absolutely nothing to kill poor little Paddington due to the crazed killer thinking she is getting oppressed by said kid.

The concept of this film is absolutely amazing! I love what this could have been, and it makes me hate what it became all the more. This could have been peak cinema if done just a bit better. It is so sad to see this concept wasted in the way it has been.

This is the first time I have watched this movie in over a year, this must have been my fifth watch total I recon, it was an interesting experience. Have not been as far removed from reality as I currently am in a while. I do think I wholly get the movie now, jumping through time and timeliness and all, In and out of reality, all the while debating philosophy.

Long scenes in which visually nothing much changed just more and more of the same bland textures, the same barely moving settings. Slowly dragging along. All the while time goes forward and backward, debates loop, get started, end abruptly, rapidly change. The topics switching faster than the mind can comprehend all while the repeating yet changing motif 'I'm thinking of ending things' repeats over and over again like a shotgun in the face of what little sanity there is left while watching it. Only to figure out its not real, and she figures out she isn't real, and the person making her up is trying to mind rape her before getting applauded by a sick and twisted audience. Roll credits.

I have a headache.

Anyway, here is a poem featured in the movie which I found rather intriguing and I feel it adds to the review.

Bone-dog

Coming home is terrible
Whether the dog licks your face or not
Whether you have a wife or
Just a wife-shaped loneliness
waiting for you
coming home is terribly lonely
so that you'll think of the oppressive barometric pressure
back where you've just come from
with fondness,
because everything is worse once you're home.

You think of the vermin clinging to the grass stalks,
long hours on the road, roadside assistance and ice-creams,
and the peculiar shapes of certain clouds
and silences
with longing because you did not want to return
coming home is
just awful.

And the home-style silences and clouds contribute to nothing
but the general malaise.

Clouds, such as they are, are in fact suspect
and made from different material than those you left behind
you yourself are cut from different cloudy cloth
returned, remaindered, ill-met by moonlight, unhappy to be back,
slack in all the wrong spots.
Seamy suit of clothes, dishrag-ratty, worn.

You return home, moon-landed, foreign
the earth's gravitational pull--an effort now redoubled, dragging your shoelaces
loose
and your shoulders etching deeper

the stanza of worry on your forehead.

You return home deepened,
a parched well linked to tomorrow
by a frail strand of...
anyway,
you sigh into the onslaught of identical days,
one might as well, at a time...
well, anyway,
you are back.

The sun goes up and down like a tired whore
the weather immobile like a broken limb while
you just keep getting older
Nothing moves, but the shifting tides of salt in your body,
your vision blears, you carry your weather with you
the big, blue whale; a skeletal darkness.

You come back with an x-ray vision,
your eyes have become a hunger,
you come home with your mutant gifts
to a house of bone
everything you see now, all of it: bone.

Once more an awesome movie. I find myself relating to both Clementine and Joel. I feel like on occasion I act similar to both of them. I can be very passive, just an observer in my own life, watching through my eyes as if they are a screen, feeling like someone or something else pilots my corpse and just does everything. But on occasion I also feel like Clementine. Very impulsive, extracting the maximum out of life every single day. Doing everything I can in as little time as possible. Singing, dancing, interacting with people, dressing in bright colorful ways, not afraid to stand up for myself. I feel like I have both of those personalities in me. Overall, I really liked the story. I hope they never actually invent a memory eraser machine.

"Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's looking for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours." -Clementine.

"I could die right now, Clem. I'm just... happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want to be." -Joel.

I have no words to describe this movie. Though very long, I liked every second of this. The music catchy as all hell, the story incredibly captivating and interesting, the characters realistic and evolving. It is just a great musical-movie. Hope to someday see a live production of this piece now. Very good.

I feel very divided on this movie. I love the concept, and I like the mindless violence. I just do not like that the main character got put in some weird kind of spotlight. Like, we are supposed to sympathize with him more than we are with all the people he hurts and kills. We are supposed to like him because while he is racist, at least he is not a nazi. We are supposed to ignore his worst aspects, other than the killing, and feel like he is justified in his actions in some weird twisted way. At least nazi santa died. Would have been better with less casual racism.

WASSSUUUHHHHHHH???? This movie is a masterpiece in dated comedy and terrible acting. It is absolutely horrible, but in the way where it is an awesome watch. Absolutely love this movie.

This movie feels like it has not aged well. Like not at all. I liked the story though, I just think there could have been a lot that could have been done better.

Well, that sure was a found footage movie with a lot of witches. I mean, I can not actually believe how much they showed the witch in this movie, like, seriously, it got old after the tenth time of seeing the witch.
On a more serious note, this movie was quite enjoyable. I liked the vibes, and I like the fact that it is open to interpretation of what happened. I like to believe one of their minds just schnapped and broke into pieces leading to what we just got to witness. I like the idea that nothing paranormal was happening, and instead, they were paranoid with delusions and hallucinations. Like, being stuck with people you despise will agitate you, which makes you more likely to snap and enter an episode. So I recon one of these three snapped and took the others down too. It was neither terrible nor awesome, though it did hook me through the story.

If you kill your entire family you will end up being allowed to join the dancing, flying, and fun times the naked witches in the woods are having! Good to know. Perhaps I need to invest in a black goat too. I would love to be a naked witch in the woods, flying all about, stealing people's souls. Hell to the yeah.

I did not expect to like this movie at all. I expected to dislike it, in fact. But I absolutely loved the story. Now, I do not usually watch romcoms, and this movie is very far fetched, but I loved it. Sir Cole Christopher Frederick Lyons of Norwich is honestly so baby girl, and I would like to give him the tiniest of kisses on his cheek before sending him off on his way to explore the modern world and win over everyone's hearts. But this movie may have been the best Christmas movie which I have watched this year, and I do not know which aspects make it so.

Finished it for Nazi Santa. The only reason I could bear to finish this movie was Nazi Santa. Nazi Santa was such an out of pocket idea and it is all I really picked up from this movie. Let Nazi Santa take over and create an army of child beating Nazi soldiers all while Santa is off on an attempt to get laid again. And Santa is supposed to be the good guy in this movie. Wild shit.

Man kills Santa and steals his job, pretending to be him and everyone erupts in joyous laughter and celebrates him. The cops do not even give a fuck when he abducts a child, and they just let him get away with it!

Watched this movie with my fiance and my inlaws, it was honestly quite a good movie, I know a bit of the story behind how it was made, and it is honestly really interesting jut how much effort was put into the production of this movie. For the rest the CGI is getting a bit dated, but that is to be expected from movies of this time period. The story is quite good, though this movie feels like just an introduction to the franchise, which is weird because it is a very long movie.

This was quite a good film, I liked it a fair bit, most definitely not the worst installment in the franchise. I liked how the immoral guy got killed by what was supposed to relax him a lot, peak entertainment. The new lore of killing someone to steal their life force was quite an interesting twist which felt very refreshing. I also loved how this movie was connected to the start of the first through the main survivors boarding the exploding plane, it just felt so nicely rounded off. I however do not like how this led to the death of Nathan as well, leave him out of this.

Wow, what a letdown. I thought after the uphill ride of the second movie, this one might have been a bit better, but no. Back to the same quality as the first. No recurring characters either, which is a little sad. But what can you do, aye? The ending was the worst so far tbh, because not one person survived, what even was the point at this point? It just kinda disappointed me.

This was a decent movie aside from its ending, would not have a clue what could improve it, but it felt very cheap. The story is quite decent, definitely the most memorable one of the bunch.

Large step up from the first movie, very big improvement. I like the fact that they have some actual plot and story going now, something I really lacked in the first edition. Most of the twists felt very well done, I couldn't predict them (though I am known to be a little stupid at times), but they still felt semi-plausible. I also liked the solution to the riddle, it really reminded me of flatliners, which was quite neat. The biggest drawback was the final scene, very unnecessary in my opinion

I expected this movie to be different, and I expected it to be better. I expected some adventure type movie and not some boy who got his first mental health episode, and now all his friends, other than his girlfriend, whom he had never met before, are dead movie. It was just a shitty film all round, and I did not enjoy it much, especially the ending was ass with the other Survivor getting swatted in the face by a billboard. Fucking stupid.

Peak cinema. I have seen this movie at least like ten times at this point. It is so good. Top tier movie with a good message: ken is awesome too. It also had some good points about over consumption, which, this movie inevitably caused to happen even more! So I guess it does not actually care about the environment.

A movie about a child who took too many drugs and now has to explore the four magical realms to find a key to safe Christmas. And she's currently in magical realm one with people who look like drag artists in 70s cheap historical knockoff glittery outfits. It vibes a lot like Alice in wonderland but worse, that's where the drugs part came from. It was an interesting film.

Fucking your boss' nineteen year old kid is a bit weird, especially when you are lying about your age and identity. Or maybe I am just too woke, but what do I know. For the rest still decently comedic.

World's shittiest cops infiltrate a high school. A teacher simps over one of them, thinking he is 17, which was fucking weird. The other kisses a high school student, which was also fucking weird. Overall quite an entertaining film which got a couple chuckles out of me, even if it was quite shit.

Boring twist on good vs bad witches, a bit boring. I did like the very medieval setting with like magical guns, or something. Just shooting guns at medieval peasants in the name of freedom and protection. And I do not mean muskets, rather, full blown modern miniguns, snipers, rifles, etc. SLAUGHTER THE CIVILIANS.

The cgi in this movie felt surprisingly well done, and it feels like it holds up to today's cgi. The story was a bit mediocre though. A simple love story between a witch and a witch hunter, with extra drama added.

Spongebob goes on a suicide mission to safe his corrupt capitalist overlord who has literally sold him to his arch enemy before for cash. He is doing a good deed for an evil person. However, his adventure were still very entertaining, especially with the appearance of David Hasselhof.

I do not even know how to start to describe this movie. All you need to know is that it was one of the worst movies I have watched. And it was in dutch too. I had hoped for a better watch.

This is a masterfully beautiful movie about living under lies and deception. I knew all along that something was up with the village, but had no clue what it might have been. The twist that Noah Percy was dressed and killed while disguised as a monster was heartbreaking, as he was my favorite character. And the twist that they were not living in the late 1800s was a bit of a surprise to me, but then again, I am quite stupid. This is a great watch which I would recommend.

Holy Kim Wexler jump scare!!! This movie is a confused mess of shitty CGI and storytelling boiling down to the thought that men are trash. And of course scary flying tablecloths during a seance with a haunted ring.

woke bad, or something.

Fuck how I love this movie, and it always just reminds me how I should never go into the music bizz and that I should just live my life as I do right now.

There are deeper meanings in this film for sure, and I bet you I could write an entire essay on this film if I truly felt bothered to. It is a great movie with a banger plot and absolutely awesome visuals. There is some amount of body horror, but also lots of mental horror. I wholeheartedly recommend this movie to everyone.

This movie was a great time to watch, it was fun and very engaging and definitely helps keep up my appreciation for poetry. I love the setting of a conservative christian boys school, the time period was also a fun add. I think this is a great movie about boys being boys in a not-very-disruptive manner, and still just have a good time.

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up-for you the flag is flung-for you the bugle trills,
For you bouquets and ribbon'd wreaths-for you the shores a-crowding,
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head!
It is some dream that on the deck,
You've fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still,
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will,
The ship is anchor'd safe and sound, its voyage closed and done,
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won;
Exult O shores, and ring O bells!
But I with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

-Walt Whitman

This story lost the plot. More and more unhinged. It just kept going. Who names his store pedos? Why did the toy maker kill his kid? Why did the toy maker go on a killing spree? Why did his son do the same? His artificial robot son. His robot son made by him because his actual son died. Why did the son robot try to fuck who he claimed to be his mom? Why was there an intensely long sex scene that only got ended by evil haunted magic toys. Why is the main kid not the yapper? Very yappen't. All that gets said about that is that it is because of the incident. What incident? I also significantly lost the plot of this movie, which is expected after watching five of these in a day. Why do I torture myself. I would like to add it did not include any plot from any of the previous four movies, but it did vaguely have to do with Christmas! Unlike the previous movie.

This is not a Christmas movie anymore. This is a murder mystery esque magic movie with a small couple of deaths. There are witches and spontaneous human combustion. The lovelife of the main character was also to big of a plot for my liking. I do not know what more I need to say.

Psychic magic blind girl dreams about seeing the killer of the first movie. It is later revealed that he can view the world through her eyes, too. He has now become a near immortal god-like being with psychic powers and a resistance to point blank shotgun shots. He kills people again, and it is a Christmas movie because it takes place during Christmas, I guess

Half the movie was a recap using a lot of the initial movie scenes. It was just reused scenes. Then, a bunch of killings followed by the brother of the main character in the precious movie escaping his psych ward and killing for Christmas. He killed Mother Superior, which was honestly based. A lot worse than the first part, but not dogass awful.

This movie was a lot better than I expected. It is a solid Christmas slasher, and the villain has good motivation. It is a well-made film and I would recommend it to people. Not bad for an 80s Christmas slasher.

This movie is an absolutely gorgeous biography of Frida Kahlo's life, her paintings were wonderfully animated and wonderfully alternated with photos and videos of her life. It also uses her words from her diary and the letters she has written to tell the story. Another aspect I loved is that it was largely told in Spanish, even though I do not speak it, I thought it was a great touch seeing it was her native language. I would definitely implore people to watch this. It is a truly awesome documentary.

Heavily tattooed viking santa is an alcoholic and gets stuck in a house which is being robbed by specialized robbery units. This causes santa to go on a major killing spree, resulting in 10s of deaths. He saves a kid and almost dies, before getting mad at his reindeer. This movie is like a christmas John Wick. Would recommend.

Berserk robot movie. With a bunch of sex. There are lots of deaths. But the nerds saves the day and gets the girl. Mall edition!!

The plot of this movie was rather interesting, as was the behavior of the characters. There was the bad one, the boss, wrongly conficted for being a serial killer. He got sent to an insane asylum which completely snapped his brain causing the events of the movie to happen. The love interest, quirked up white boy, the actual murderer who managed to get away with the murders by pinning it on someone else. And you have the survivor, the main girl, she was a key witness to the killing. She did not witness the final blow nor did she give an inaccurate witness statement. She figures it all out and writes a book about it. Resulting in the death of the quirked up white boy. Overall, awesome movie. Quite gorey though, not highest budget and you can tell that, but it really was not a bad movie.

I liked this movie at first, until the twist that three of the witches are absolute cunts. Like sure, absolute power corrupts absolutely, but, at the same time, I feel like this movie ended up having a slight "it is for the better that these people get bullied because else they would bully others" message, which I am personally not fond of, considering my personal history with bullying and harassment. It ended up feeling like a mediocre, now overdone storyline which I generally do not like from the start. I would not recommend it.

The biggest draw of this movie was elviras humongous hairdo. And her personality. The cgi in this movie was awesome, felt so 60s in looks. The story was great, but not as great as elviras massive tits, which were on full display for the entire duration of the film. She has massive tits which are integral to the plot of the movie. And they were the plot of the movie. Her car was kind of swagger too, but it would kill her in a crash. (I wrote this while quite drunk.)

Somehow the stakes raised even compared to the prior movie. There was even a major character death, which made me feel sad. And considering the cliffhanger we ended the last movie on it was extra tense from the start. I think this might have been my favorite movie in the series thus far. The story is great, as were the fights like usual.

I think this may have been my least favorite John Wick movie so far. He just feels so lost and confused like a little puppy all alone in the world. Doing stuff just for the sake of it. The fighting scenes were good as always though, the John Wick series has not yet gone wrong with those. They often feel tense and risky, even though John Wick appears like some nigh immortal God-like being who is incapable of dying.

This one I had no memory of. I think last time I watched it I was in bed with my bestie and we just passed out halfway through the movie? I do not adequately recall. It is once more a high action, high speed movie with a lot going on constantly. It was once more quite good, however this time it feels Keanu, I mean, John Wick's motivation has become a bit cloudy. He does not wholly go for revenge, rather, taking many lives to prolong his own. I wonder where this will go in the next movie.

Man goes on a rampage because someone killed his dog. That was all I remembered about this movie going into it. It is so much more tragic than that. He goes on a rampage in order to exact his revenge on all who have wronged him, and who are not able to accept his revenge. He has become a God of death because of the actions of those whom have wronged him. He has become the ultimate ideal for those Andrew Tate simps to look up to. I did really like the story though.

On first impression I did not expect to love this movie anywhere near as much as I did. The contrast between Tony Lib and Dr. Donald Shirley was great, as was the manner in which they uplift each other. They fill in each other's shortcomings. This is a great feelgood movie. Overall I do not have much to say about this movie, it was just a good movie which I can not add many more thoughts to.

This musical is once more a hellish fever dream like experience. An evil God from an alternative dimension invades ours through adorable little plushies that brainwash people into killing each other for them. It is obvious where they are drawing inspiration from, but it just feels absurd when you add the evil God bit. The story also has several side plots surrounding family and how broken they are. This is also a returning topic in this musical, seeing multiple main characters have incredibly dysfunctional families. For the rest it feels like an awesome addition to the already absurd world this musical is set in, with recurring characters from previous movies.

The guy just does not like musicals. This musical is about Paul. Paul is the most boring guy imaginable. He has hobbies, no real friends, a boring office job and was single as a Pringle. But then, out of nowhere, a musical meteorite hits the music hall. This causes people to be turned into zombies of the musical hivemind. Paul keeps escaping and surviving, because he has nothing he wants in life because he is so boring. I give you this little summary of the first twenty odd minutes as a show of how absurd this musical is. It is an absolutely hilarious shitshow of comedy and comedy^2 with many a gag and all the while you try to take it serious. And the story, although it is very absurd, absolutely slaps. Mixed with the actors' ability to play multiple characters makes this show a must watch! I strongly recommend it to anyone who thinks this may be intriguing.

Once again an interesting movie that my partner wanted to watch, and so we did. This is honestly a masterpiece, I do not in the slightest understand why it had such a low box office. It is so camp. The masks look awesome, and the practical effects are intensely 80s. The characters in this film are definitely a strong point. They develop a lot in the duration of the movie, and I absolutely fell in love with some of them. My favorites were the Terenzi brothers by a long shot. They are awesome and funny and oh so silly. I love their energy and chemistry, and also love the high jinks they pull during the entirety of the movie. Another honorable mention is the two presumably gay guys who got thrown in prison by the very conservative chief and later got killed there.

What did I just watch? Why did I watch this? Why did the alpha straight bros turn gay? They are literally brothers, and twins at that, I did not need A God sanctioned twincest marriage being forced upon my retinas. I regret watching this, but that one song about love was banger. And I find the mom and dad relatable, they are very me coded. This movie was honestly an absurd masterpiece though, and I would not be surprised if I would voluntarily rewatch it sometime in the future.

This movie was so bad it was enjoyable. I was not the target audience for this film and I was unable to figure out who actually would have been. It was so hilariously bad that I kind of ended up loving it. It was absurd, and stuff just happened with little reason to. The blind guy somehow catching a crossbow bolt, thinking he can see before walking into a tree, the witch saving the bad guy's life only to force him to marry her, the metal underwear, and I could just keep naming hilariously bad things that happened. I kept switching between cringing and laughing and a mix of both while watching it.
If you think stupid, unrealistic, hilariously bad movies are great, I would recommend this movie! (Broomhilde is great, I love her.)

I will also write here about "‘Robin Hood: Men in Tights’ – The Legend Had It Coming (1993)" The behind the scenes of this movie, which are supposedly better. The deleted arrow point of view scene is abolutely rediculous, I love it. Especially the fact it splits a tree clean in half. I can not take this serious, but I do not think I am supposed to in the first place. Oh my god, some of the actors are breaking the fourth wall in character. This is gold. This is literal comedy gold. It is hilarious deleted scenes, mixed with the most comedic bits, all condensed into a much shorter formfactor. There are also hilarious clips of inspiration for scenes in this movie, which I also really love. Overall a good movie. I would recommend this movie more than the full one.

This is a movie I hold dear to my hear. It is great, it is lovely, it is wholesome. It is a rollercoaster, both in terms of the story and what it does to my emotions. Forrest Gump is a great guy with an interesting life. From fighting a war, to becoming a war hero, to becoming an icon in the peace movement. From shrimping, to table tennis, to American football and running indefinetely without purpose. He is a great guy with a good heart. He loves those around him, even when they are not good to him. Yet somehow he got a mostly happy ending. He got the girl, and the child. He has a nice home and things to do.
One of my favorite little details is that Forrest Gump loses from his son in table tennis because he stopped looking at the ball in order to look at his son, the most beautiful thing in his life. The literal lovechild of him and his no passed away wife. I also really like how the general changed from a pro war, wanting to die in it lieutenant into a resentful person, into an accepting person.
My only criticism of this movie is how it frames all the social injustice movements, such as the anti war movement and the blackpanthers are framed as a joke and a bad way to go, and thus that blind obedience is the only way to be a good person and to be happy. Which is something I do not agree with at all, because if we did that, the world would be a lot worse for wear.

This sure was a movie. I remember I used to like it years back, but now that is not the case anymore. It is significantly weaker than I remember, especially toward the end of the story. It is just a lazy remake of the original with less spark (I will re-watch the original and review it soon, I promise!!). It feels like it does not have anything new nor special to offer. It feels like a lazy attempt at a cash grab by redoing an old movie with a unique plot that has been largely forgotten and now obscure movie.
That is all I have to say on this movie.